Sara Angela Rodriguez
A415-002/Chambers
Student Critique/ Evidence
07 February 2013
I really liked the structure of your piece. It is very
creative and the most experimental I’ve seen thus far. I think that it was a
very good choice to write it in text/e-mail format especially because in our
generation those two methods are basically the only way we communicate with
each other (I usually never see anyone on from our generation the phone
anymore, they’re always texting back and forth). I also love the use of email. Though,
I felt a little confused when I first read it because I didn’t realize that the
most recent conversation was at the end so I had to read backwards to get it. There
were also a few instances where the conversation seemed too set up (like the
refusal to text/call each other and keep communication through email). But, I really
appreciate how you kept the email authentic. I also felt that the text messages
were forced at times. And, the addition of the 16 years of age to one of the
characters was a bit troubling. I don’t know if a 16 year old would go to all
the trouble of setting up an elaborate ruse like that (I honestly don’t even
know if they could). It also made me question what the relationship between the
two was. I assumed they were sisters because of the same last names but the
person who initiated the conversation seemed more like an ex-lover more than
anything. Overall, I enjoyed your writing. I hope my comments help.
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