Critique on "Blue"

Sara Angela Rodriguez

A415-002/Chambers

Student Critique/ Blue

22 April 2013

Your story, Blue, reads as a fairytale with a very dark and unexpected twist. I really enjoy how you took the story of Little Red Riding Hood—with its adventure like tale and happy ending—and turned it upside down to tell a story of a little boy, our hero, and his death. What I liked most about your story was the setting (“near the sea”) and how the characters were portrayed. It was a story that had much to offer and many places to grow. One thing that I did wish was that your story was more fairy tale ‘like’. I it to start with “Once upon a time in a kingdom by the sea” and I wanted to see more of the little boy exploring the sea as little Red explored the forest. I think that by adding more fairy tale like elements you would surprise your readers even more when you killed of the hero. As I mentioned before I really liked the way that the characters were portrayed, but I do wish that Blue himself would be more developed. I wanted to see what he thought of his grandfather and stepfather. I also wanted to know more about Blue’s mother because I felt that her absence was very important (it did lead to Blue’s current living arrangements). I also felt that the motives for the father’s murder of the grandfather weren’t definitely stated. Yes, I knew that he wanted the plot of land that the grandfather owned and that he wanted to be rid of the commitment of taking care of him, but I felt that those motives were not enough to justify the father’s killing. I feel that one quick and easy way to solve the problem of this ambiguity would be to have Blue flashback to a time when his mother was still alive and give us a glimpse of what life was like in ‘the good ole days’ so that we can better understand the current situation.