Sara Angela Rodriguez
A415-002/Chambers
Student Critique/ Excerpts
4/26/2013
When I first read your piece I thought that it was made
up of a collection of different diary entries form a young girl’s life and that
an outside narrator was telling us about it, but when I came to the end and saw
that the narrator of each excerpt was actually 30+ I was a little
confused. I think that it was at that
time that I realized that there was no way that anyone can document their own
birth or the events that led up to her childhood because they are too young for
that. So, I just assumed that she was retelling the stories she heard about her
childhood and giving them approximate dates. I found no correlation between the
dates, they weren’t consistent and it didn’t look like they were separated by
any specific time, but I wish that they were. I think that it would be best to
either spread the years of these events apart or add more years that cover the
girls life into childhood, adolescence, and even into young adulthood. As the
piece is right now I feel that something is missing. Though, I must admit that I
really loved the different scenes presented in each diary entry, or excerpt. Like
I said before, all you have to do is add a few more sections or spread them out
through more years and your piece will be great. Keep up the good work.
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