Sara Angela Rodriguez
A415-002/Chambers
Student Critique/ Letter from the Front
21 January 2013
I enjoyed reading your story. It was creative and I found
it great that you played on the whole “stupid Canadian” mindset that I feel
like many Americans have (“[…] we would joke about this war ending in a week so
the Cand’s wouldn’t miss hockey night.”). I also liked how you had this whole
post-apocalyptic feel to the story that I felt was highlighted best by the
reason for starting the war (which I assumed to be the lack of water). But, I did
feel that there were some instances where the story felt mechanical. I mean, I knew that the narrator loved his wife,
wanted to be out of the war, wanted to help his country, and wanted to survive
(because he said so) but I didn’t feel
like he was being sincere. He felt like he was detached from everything that
was going on despite how much he wanted to be in the action (of the story that
is). I’m not sure if that was done intentionally, to show how much this man has
suffered and how much he has removed himself from himself, or if this was done
mistakenly. Either way, I feel like he needs to fully immerse himself in the
action of the story to be more believable. Though, I do love all the details
you have put in this about the war and about what’s going on, I think that you
should focus more on what the character is seeing and going through. If the war
is as big as it seems and if this is his last, not his first letter, I think
that the character would have already told his wife all the small details and
would now be crying his eyes out in some ditch, dying of hunger and thirst,
using his last bit of strength to write to his wife.
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