Critique on "Glossolalia"

Sara Angela Rodriguez

A415-002/Chambers

Student Critique/ Glossolalia

3/12/2013

I really enjoyed reading your story. It was very interesting and I think that you did a great job setting up the voices of the two main characters. However, there were a few things that confused me. First, I was not sure what age the two main characters, Chuck and Lewis (whom I was tempted at times to call Larry). At times they seemed like they would be young men between the ages of 15-20 (this I gathered from their use of vulgarity and from their childish traits—i.e. the child-like banter) but at other times they seemed like grown men reflecting back on their lives (this I gathered from the way that they watched the news and were old enough to frequent a bar). I think that by clearing up their ages this story would be concrete, more solid. Another thing that I had an issue with was the third voice that was introduced, the voice in italics. It seemed to me that this was the voice of Old Man Pellum but I couldn’t figure out if that was just a story happening in the background, if these were Lewis’s memories, or if this was another narrator just sprinkling the dialogue throughout the story. I think that in order to make the introduction of Pellum’s voice noted you have to make it the prominent voice in the piece. Maybe introduced his voice from the beginning or have Lewis dazing out when he remembers the story. I think that recognizing that the voice is there would make the piece work better. Also, when it comes to the title, I’m not sure what to think. I didn’t really see much glossolalia—unless you consider the three different voices to be different ‘tongues’— except for the time that Pellum begins spazzing out after being arrested. Try maybe reworking the title into your piece or just changing it. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope my comments help.