Critique on "Louella"

Sara Angela Rodriguez

A415-002/Chambers

Student Critique/ Louella

3/12/2013

I really liked your story. The way that you alternated between prose and poetry was really creative. I liked how the poetry not only divided the prose but it reflected back upon or added to the action of the events that had just passed. It reminded me of The Consolation of Philosophy a philosophical/religious text in which Boethius (full name Anicius Manlius Severinus Boëthius) gives his account of his encounter with Lady Philosophy in prose and then reflects back upon them in his poetry (which is meant to resemble self-reflection). My favorite section was actually Numb because it had so many details and it gave a complete story. However, I do think that the section was too long. I think that it would have worked better if you had broken the section into two parts the first ending with them drinking whiskey and the second picking up from where the story left and continuing to the end. I also think that between these two sections you can add another section of poetry—this not only for the sake of consistency but because it can be used to elaborate upon the “time passed” and how it was passed. I would really have enjoyed seeing these two men making their way through the city in search of something or in Alfie’s case, someone. Overall I really enjoyed you piece. Keep up the good work.