Critique on "How to Make Friends"

Sara Angela Rodriguez

A415-002/Chambers

Student Critique/ How to Make Friends

3/15/2013

I really liked your piece. You have put together a good concept in place. When I first received the piece and skimmed through it I thought that it was going to be an instruction manual or guide to making friends; this idea I came to after seeing the list of ‘tools needed’ and the diagram depicting the proper way to hug. But, I have to admit I was a bit disappointed when it turned out to be a very informal piece that seemed to me more like tips to making friends. I wished that all the ‘tools’ that were listed at the beginning of the piece were applied throughout. I wish we could see how patience, kindness, respect, etc. could be used to make friends. I also wanted to see more technical language (like the kind seen at the bottom of page four when you have to “[…] apply a thin layer of Forgiveness […] if the friendship cracks”) and more diagrams like the one seen at the top of page three. Another thing I saw in your piece that I thought could use some improving was the different sections. I wish that you would have chosen one topic, either one of the sections or just a more concentrated topic, in order to explain. What I mean is: I felt that the variety in sections in this piece was too much. You should choose one topic and elaborate upon that, for example the hugging section, and explain that more as opposed to hopping from one topic to another. I think that by concentrating your writing on one topic, using formal language, using diagrams, and detailing the steps to friend making your piece would be better. But, I must say that I really loved how you put it together. All the above comments are based off of the assumption that this was a ‘serious’ friendship manual that the narrator was dictating. These comments are all invalid if the short message sent in the email (the one about being unfamiliar with making friends) was actually part of the piece and stemming from the same narrative voice. If the email was intended to be part of the piece then this was masterfully done!